Do you still believe yourself when you dream?

Haven't you learned anything...

… from you dreaming something up and then not realizing it in the end? I mean how can you trust yourself anymore if you never follow through on what you want?

As a kid I had all these dreams and even in my teens there were so many ideas of what I wanted to do and how I definitely didn’t want my life to turn out. And then… well, “life got in the way” & I was caught up in school and societal responsibilities, that I completely forgot them and was even ashamed of them. Because how could I even dare to think that a job that filled all my expectations is a possibility?? Or a life that makes me feel like I’ve arrived is not a fantasy. I started to be afraid of even thinking about them and you can probably already imagine that my family, especially the elderlies (love you

guys :-*), were really not understanding of any of my so called dreams either. So I kinda suffocated myself and stopped talking/thinking about them. And they got stored somewhere very very very deep in the back of my mind. The place looked almost like a creepy basement that noone really dares to go into.

And when I finished school and it was about time to access them to help me guide me into the direction of my fulfilling life I was wayyy to scared to look at them.

So now what happened? Because I’m currently clearly living a bunch of dreams of mine:

I’m travelling the world in my own time. I’m remotely working on multiple projects, which I all love and I have a community around me that I feel safe in.

Where did I get the courage from to access that basement and how did I get the dreams to come out of there?

I found myself having to make a choice:

“After school, am I really going to go to university and then work like all my peers? Or do I do something fun? Something I *actually* enjoy?”

And since I hated the idea of spending 3-6 years on a subject that I liked, but not really, I decided to go with the second option. Although I had no idea what that option would look like.

That sounds like a walk in the park, HA! It wasn’t!

After many cries and moments of frustration I started to look at what I really liked. Because at the time there was nothing that I did. I didn’t have any hobbies … nothing. I spent my free-time studying, so I was really overwhelmed with all the time I had at my disposal, now that I was out of school.

I made a list of all the good things in my life: things I was good at, good memories, things I liked and everything in between. And to my surprise it was quite a list and I was actually able to think of things.

And from then on, I’ve been slowly developing and created a path for myself that enables me to live the above mentioned dreams and so much more.

I went from “I have this dream.” to “F*** dreaming! It’s useless.” to “Oh, I can actually create what I want!”.

And all of that happened because I sat my ass down and focused and committed. To me that really was the only option.

So… where are you? What “stage” are you in?

Do you dare to dream?

Let me know your thoughts! office@yllispace.com

Lot of love to you,

Patricia