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That thing were you could tell your past self a few things to make their life easier? Well it’s not really too possible, but I can tell you. Because you are in a sense a version of my younger self. Yearning to find your place in this world and not really knowing where to go.
So here it goes, before you find your path or maybe while you’re on the journey, here are a few things that might take a bit of pressure off. Because you’ll realize that you’re not alone in this. I went through this too.
Some of your friends won’t understand you. That’s the truth. It’s as simple as that. Why? Because they live in their world and who knows what they’ve been taught by their parents and family. Maybe aiming high (like you are doing) is ‘forbidden’ in a way. Maybe they don’t even dare to dream that big. Maybe they have to take over the family business and they feel like they don’t even have a chance, so you talking about your ‘wild dreams’ (from their point of view) triggers their desire. Their longing for something different, but because they know that they won’t ever be able to live that they shut you down. Because they don’t want to be confronted with their own inner challenges and desires, and not because your dreams are crazy.
And because your talking makes them feel uncomfortable, the first coping mechanism for many of us is to judge. And that’s what they choose to do. And of course it makes you feel shitty, but I’m here to remind you that the judgement has more to do with them than with you. Someone once told me that the things I don’t like about other people are actually the things I don’t like about myself. So… if you connect that to the situation with your friends they judge your dreams. They cannot understand you. They don’t like how you are dreaming so big… well, that’s because they don’t like when they dream big themselves. And why is that? Because that would mean that they had to stand up to their parents and say: “Listen guys, I’m not taking over the family business.” And that’s fucking scary! So, of course they shut you down.
See what I mean?
You might feel that – at the beginning of figuring out where you want your life to go – you have no fucking idea about anything. Like, where do you even start. And that’s so annoying because you so desperately want to already “be there”, but how do you get there??? It’s so frustrating!
What if we welcomed that desperation and frustration and saw it as part of the journey. What if it’s just a rainy day, before the sun comes out again?
What if you went through that for a reason? Maybe you’re experiencing resistance… let it be! This is THE opportunity to learn more about yourself.
I’m sure you’re familiar with people who go off to “find themselves”, but somehow you never really understood what “finding yourself” means… well this is it!! The resistance comes up and you stay with it. That’s literally it. You find out something new about yourself. You find a new part of yourself. You discover yourself. Stay with it!
In Heightened Awareness I will give you loads and loads of tools on how you can stay with it with ease and get to know yourself better. This will be essential in finding your path. Check it out!
The concept of “everyone goes along life in their own pace” is not something your family is particularly familiar with. That’s a bummer… or, well, actually it’s not because it means they present you with yet another learning opportunity. (Once you become conscious you will see a learning opportunity in everything. It’s magical! There are so many possibilities to develop & improve yourself!)
How’s that? You ask?
Let’s look at what’s happening: Your family is impatient. They nag you with questions like: “So, do you have a plan yet?”, “Have you found something?”, “Do you have a job already?”, “When will you do something? Aren’t all your friends already quite independent?” and so on and so forth. This makes you feel pressured. Like your pace doesn’t matter. Like your unsureness is invalid.
This can be (if you choose) an invitation for you to further develop an inner stability and strength of being like: “Hey, you guys! I hear your concerns and at the same time I am very set on my path and I am doing it in my own time, because this is my life.”
Because let’s be real for a second: No matter whether your family/parents say you are going too slowly or whether it’s just a feeling you have within yourself…who says that you’re not going fast enough? Okay, your parents/family/inner self… and who told them that? Well, you don’t really know, right? It’s just a societal thing or a generational thing… it just gets passed down. Now, you have a choice here… You can choose to take it on and pass it down to your kids (one day)/friends/… or you can choose that this belief stops with you here and now. You can simply choose not to take it on. You can simply choose to say: “I’m doing it in my own pace.”
Will your parents/family be resistant to that? Hell yes! Because that’s what they’ve been taught and that’s what they’ve internalized. And now you come along and say the complete opposite. Of course, that’s stirring the pot. But the important thing to remember is that it’s your life and not theirs!
And to develop that inner strength and stability, you need to know your path you need to know where you’re headed! In the online course Conscious Commitment you’ll be guided to that place of being like: “Hey, I actually know what I want and what I don’t want. And I also know what steps of actions to take. How cool!!!”
This point kind of ties in with the your-parents’-beliefs-are-totally-different-than-yours-point I just made. It’s quite possible that they just do not understand you – period. They don’t understand your dreams, your aspirations, your values and your attitudes. Why? Because it’s likely the polar opposite of what they were taught and thus believe in now.
You hear statements like “When we were young, we did it in a completely different way.” and “We didn’t even have that opportunity when we grew up, why wouldn’t you take it?” often. And this is (again, only if you choose to) a learning opportunity for you. A chance to grow stronger roots in your path and eventually stand up to your parents. Or maybe that won’t even be necessary, because when you grow a strong foundation you radiate strength, stability and joy and they will sense that. And thus stop pushing their beliefs onto you altogether because they’ll notice that you’re actually okay without them. Because in the end they mean well. They want the best for you and that’s why they say those things. So have compassion as well.
And again, developing that inner strength and stability is really easy with Conscious Commitment. Check it out!
Lots of love to you,
Patricia