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Finding your path and truly flourishing in life is something we all want, isn’t it? I mean imagine waking up and just knowing that you’re in the right spot. It’s an inner calmness you experience at every part of the day. Even in hectic moments there is a basic level of calmness and gratitude there.
Before you begin to go on your journey there are a few things I would like to tell you. Things that I would’ve liked to know and only learnt through trial and error
Slowly getting stronger in your views and your path can be triggering for some people. Especially the ones closest to us: family and more specifically parents.
Statements with a judgy undertone like: “This is what you want to do? I don’t understand?”, “What exactly are you doing?”, “Why is it taking you so long to figure this out?” might be all too familiar to you.
These things are not said because there is something wrong with you or your dreams. Imagine this: Your parents/family who say those things are most likely older than you. When they grew up a ceratin set of values was given to them. Oftentimes things like security, opportunity and stability were important things back in the day. These values are often deeply integrated in their personality and sometimes even connected to fears. This all happens unconsciously (if the person is not working on themselves and uncovering their patterns).
Now, you and I grew up in a completely different day and age. We value different things. For a lot of us a secure job is not as important as the freedom to travel and go wherever we want to. Many of us have a desire to see the world and connect with different cultures and to broaden our horizon. Older generations are content with living in their suburban homes.
Describing this I hope you can understand that when you talk about your dreams to your family it happens that two sets of values clash. Two worlds collide.
And so it becomes clear why they cannot emphatize with you on certain things because they have a completely different view on the world.
Making yourself aware of that is the first step to better navigating these situations. Read the blog post How to show yourself compassion to see what else you can do.
You will feel overwhelmed at times. Why? Because you feel like you’re not doing enough. Because you feel like you’re not where you’re supposed to be. This feeling will stay until you realize that you’re on a path. And that word inclines that there is no destination you can get to. It’s ever-winding and ever-evolving. Sure, there might be milestones along the way but there is no ultimate goal.
But how can that be?? When literally all your friends seem to have found their place and their destination. They are all so happy.
Let me tell you, even they are on their own journey, they simply might not realize and so they settle for the next best thing. You are one step ahead of them. You are now aware of the fact that there is no goal to reach. Your life is ever evolving and once that has sunken in it will take the pressure off of you.
Because you will realize that there is no timeline. You can do things in your own pace and what’s meant for you will meet you, as cheesy as that sounds. From my own experience I can tell you that it’s true. You just need to let it flow and see what happens.
The easiest way to find you path is to follow what’s easy and to follow your joy. Go where your joy is, no matter what it is (as long as it doesn’t harm anyone, of course). Don’t worry about how you will make money off of that or how you can commercialize it. That will come to you eventually. That comes after figuring out what you love.
There are so many motivational speeches that go like: “It won’t be easy, it’s going to be hard work. “. Why? Why can’t it be easy? Why can’t it feel light? From very early on we are taught that only hard work will earn you success. “You have to work twice as hard as your colleagues.” This is all a belief.
What would happen if the whole world believed that you can reach your goals with ease? What if we were taught that we should do what feels light and right? Imagine how different your life would’ve been.
I can tell you, in my process of figuring out what my place in this world is, I always reminded myself of focusing on ease. What feels light and what feels easy – and that’s what I’ll do. Now that doesn’t mean that I didn’t encounter challenges, because believe me, I did! I just approached them differently. While I was figuring out how to best navigate the obstacle in front of me I still had an inner sense of gratitude and ease.
Once you can feel some momentum and traction on your dreams and your path, there will come a very unique moment. In this moment you will realize that you are stepping up.
You will realize that you are at the end of the challenging beginning stages of commiting and daring to take the leap of figuring out what it is you want and you’ve come out on the other side. And your view of the world is a different one.
You’ll be able to see how stuck your environment feels and how lucky you are to have taken that step. You will realize how many of your friends are talking about how they want to change careers & follow their path but they never really do it. And you did.
And then you will zoom out and realize how stuck the people in your country are and all over the world. You will suddenly see the old you everywhere and be reminded of how luck you are.
I invite you to have compassion with those “stuck” people. Because they as well are on their path. However that may look like for them.
Once you’ve found something, whatever that may be. And once you’ve felt this beautiful feeling of joy and calmness inside of you: don’t let it go! This is your thing. You’ve found something. And it’s so valuable. Even if doubts come up, that’s your mind speaking and your mind will tell you a lot of things along the way that come from a place of past hurt and pain.
Listen to your body and your heart. And if they still say: “Yes, that’s it.” Even through moments of doubt, then stick with it! No matter what people tell you. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone as long as it brings you joy and as long as it is a contribution to your life.
Lots of love to you,
Patricia